Setting Loving Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries with loved ones, friends or co-workers is an essential part of spiritual and emotional wellbeing, though it can often feel challenging. It is normal, to yearn for connection. But relationships require mutual respect, which means communicating our needs and limitations. This allows us to nourish our spirits through positive interactions. When we neglect boundaries, we exhaust our energy, and invite chaos. We lose touch with our highest selves. Life without boundaries can lead to stress and develop health issues.
The good news is that with self-awareness, we can transform even the most difficult relationships into positive relationships. It begins by getting clear on your own limits – we all have limits. Communicating with humility allows others to understand us without feeling upset. When we embody spiritual principles like compassion in boundary setting, change becomes possible in a respectful way.
First, we have to learn how to say “NO”. We can’t go around pleasing people, and turn into a “welcome mat”. Though the process takes courage, the rewards are immeasurable. It is life changing, and you would feel in alignment. Teaching boundaries to our children is also important, not teaching boundaries to our children is setting them up for failure and disappointments. When my children were younger, that was the first word they heard a lot from my end. I always told them,” You’re not always going to get what you want, and sometimes you just have to say “no” to others”. Don’t be afraid to say NO. It is only a two letter word, and yet for many it is hard to say it. Give yourself permission to place yourself in “First Place”. Getting clarity on your values and principals is important.
Take time to reflect on values, and principals. Ask yourself:
- What do I need in my relationships to feel happy and fulfilled?
- What are my core values and principal that I don’t want to compromise on?
- What are my top priorities in life right now?
- In what ways do I allow others to cross my boundaries or take advantage of me?
- What do I want more or less of in my relationships?
How Do We Set Boundaries?
Start small: It’s best not to try to tackle every issue all at once. Start with minor boundaries to build confidence in yourself and demonstrate that you are serious about change (especially with family and friends). Remember, you are aiming for progress, not perfection. Small, positive steps in the right direction can lead to bigger change over time. Trust the process.
Expect Resistance: When you experience resistance or anger, stay calm but in a kind and firm tone. Avoid getting defensive or arguing. Understand that it may take time to adjust. Especially, if they are accustom to always have things there way, it’s hard for them to change.
Enforce Consistently: When you’re consistent, you build trust that you mean what you say. Keep centering yourself and reinforcing your worth and needs. As you build a track record of sticking to your guns, your boundaries will strengthen and conflicts around them will lessen.
Distance Yourself: We all need our space, especially if certain people will continue to disrespect your boundaries. You have every right to reduce contact with people who won’t respect your boundaries. Your mental and emotional wellbeing needs to be your top priority. Don’t sacrifice your self-care to preserve a relationship with someone who repeatedly is disrespecting you. It’s healthy to distance yourself from people who harm you, even if you care about them. Remember, you deserve to feel safe, respected, and heard in all your relationships.
Divine Inspiration by Lily 